If coaches in the NCAA Tournament were poets, who would they be?
I know you're excited. Read on.
Rick Pitino (Louisville): Consistent, persistent, sheer quantity (and obsession with increasing quantity) obscuring a brilliant beginning. A unique individual, a commonly cited inspiration for followers. Career noted for a significant wound, for one, the tragedy of France, for the other, a sex scandal on the table of an Italian restaurant. Considered, too much so at times, a mentor of sorts, an inspiration for others. In the end, highly overpaid. William Wordsworth.
Brad Stevens (Butler): A talent found unexpectedly (or so the accepted story goes). Romantically celebrated as a man from outside the industry, a less developed place. Perhaps, in this way, pigeonholed into a strict role, but also loved the more so for it. Robert Burns. Would also accept: John Greenleaf Whittier.
Bill Self (Kansas) and Tom Izzo (Michigan State) (tie…obvious bias here): An easy fellow to love and respect. A man who invites warm sentiments and makes us feel familiar pleasures. Never the best there is, but far from the worst. Not one to challenge us, yet also one who rarely disappoints. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. Or, to be slightly more pessimistic: Oliver Wendell Holmes.
Jim Boeheim (Syracuse): Memorable for a particular style and in the end famous. A long career of short work. Disappointing to some, respected by others. Not one to be used, with much success, in serious situations. Ogden Nash.
Frank Martin (Kansas State): Has received, for better or worse, considerable attention for highly eccentric behavior. An individual voice; an unusual talent. Certainly, if we may say so...strange. Possesses an ability to make us see something familiar in a new way. Emily Dickinson. If you want to emphasize the shared Latin-American heritage (and I'm not saying I do), then I would also give you Pablo Neruda.
Bruce Pearl (Tennessee): Attempted nearly every style, every meter. Surrounded himself with talent, yet never really exuded it himself. Was curiously renowned for a time. It is too much to criticize them now, if you care you should fight another battle. Not good enough to be worth it. Will be forgotten anyway (done for one, certainly in the works for the other when he is fired). James Gates Percival.
Steve Fisher (former coach of the Michigan Fab Five and now San Diego State University): He was once a man of the future. Somewhere it went wrong with scandal and intrigue that wasn’t entirely his fault, but that he was in the end held responsible for. There was a comeback and a new position, and some acclaim. A hard nut to crack. In the end, unreadable. Samuel Taylor Coleridge.
Jim Calhoun (Connecticut): "Temperamental" is the label fellows of this sort usually received, and that is being polite. Prone to the rant. One who lives in their own mental universe. Didn't age well. Ezra Pound. If you prefer, or demand, a less noxious crazy, perhaps William Blake.
John Calipari (Kentucky): Beloved by those 30 years his junior, seen as creepy and slimy by those his age. Engendered extremely loyal fan followings. Highly marketable. Branched out to embrace the new media of his day…mostly to promote himself. Shel Silverstein
John Beilein (Michigan): Modern style. Up to date. Innovative. A primary source who works as if he's anticipating the secondary sources to be written. Smart for his time, but not better than passable in the end. Allen Tate. Also works: John Wain or basically any poet from the 1960s on.
Bo Ryan (Wisconsin): Overshadowed by more brilliant peers, probably unfairly so. One who does a variety of things well, none greatly. Consistent. Had odd way of generating harsh critics. Deserving of greater acclaim. James Russell Lowell. If you wanted to stress the boring aspect: George Crabbe.
Rick Barnes (Texas): A golden son of the South. Not terribly good on his own merits, but rated highly due to the company he keeps. Sidney Lanier. If he gets better: James Dickey
Coach K (Duke) and Dick Vitale (announcer): A litmus test. If someone tells you "oh, he's a great poet/leader/announcer" you know in an instant that you're listening to a fool. It doesn't even make sense... both just really want to establish how awesome they are in a “traditional” sense, how much they can see what you can't. John Dryden. Or, stressing more of the former and less of the latter, Gertrude Stein.
Every 14-16 seed who lost in the first round: What is this? Who was the mind behind these short verses? There is, or was, or might have been, something here. Perhaps. We'll never know. The Anonymous Author of Every Random Poem Someone Finds.
Shaka Smart (VCU), Chris Mooney (Richmond): Not much of a body of work, when you get down to it. However, what exists, well, might be considered to be just short of that upper level. Enough to make you wonder. Just don't over do it…because that run is going to end in the Sweet 16. Hart Crane.
Jamie Dixon (Pittsburgh): It always seems unique and inspiring, but beneath the veneer it is sadly typical. Disappointing, even. A bright beginning (or what was thought to be a beginning) and an early end. Was it his fault or just bad luck? Many end up in the wrong place at the wrong time. Planted, we might say, in infertile soil. For now, we must go with a real man of obscurity, though known in his day: Joseph Brown Ladd.
Bob Huggins (West Virginia): Modest working-class upbringings (coal country West Virginia and Northern Ireland), and defined by personal family tragedy, particularly alcoholism. Prickly. Personally disliked by many but respected by all in his field. Developed a ingenious yet accessible style that fully embraces a simple upbringing. Capable of demonstrating extreme kindness and reprehensible behavior. Finds fame away from the place of his formative years, but in the end returns home and becomes obsessed with restoring and honoring traditions of his home country. Seamus Heaney
Bruce Weber (Illinois): Easily accessible. A "one trick pony" (harsh) or someone who had one season in the sun (nicer). Always seems in a hurry. Overrated. Sylvia Plath. You could also talk me into Allen Ginsberg at his peak.
Jimmer Fredette (BYU…the coach on the floor): Devoted and faithful. A protege of the white, suburban elite who was put on display from a young age as a talent to be celebrated. Notably, and for some, annoyingly, religious. Ended, unfortunately, in obscurity (for one, of course, this is yet to come but will in the NBA). Phillis Wheatley. Also works: Jones Very.
I know that “The Jimmer” isn’t a coach, so yeah I broke the rules a bit. I’m sorry I’m not sorry. Enjoy!
Rock Chalk,
Gen
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